Saturday, July 7, 2018

I wrote this in my personal journal on two days ago while my Internet was down. I’m now posting this and sending a copy to my grandmother and my ex because it now seems relevant. I got an exhausted phone call from my grandmother at 8:30 yesterday morning and all she said to me is that DMV is worse than Comcast. There are only two people in the world that I know who can appreciate that. You know who you are. Because these two people know the long and complicated history between my biological mother and I, I’m sharing this with them even though it contains a story from perhaps the most difficult time in my life. The summer of 2009 when I lost my job, my home, my sanity and my faith in humanity. Enough time has passed and I have a new sense of clarity having suffered a severe and life altering spinal cord injury. I’ve always been crazy and suffered in extreme pain living with severe depression and trauma most of my life. Emotional pain and depression is not treated the same way as

Draft July 7, 2018


I wrote this in my personal journal on two days ago while my Internet was down.

I'm now posting this and sending a copy to my grandmother and my ex because it now seems relevant.

I got an exhausted phone call from my grandmother at 8:30 yesterday morning and all she said to me is that DMV is worse than Comcast.

There are only two people in the world that I know who can appreciate that.

You know who you are.

Because these two people know the long and complicated history between my biological mother and I, I'm sharing this with them even though it contains a story from perhaps the most difficult time in my life. The summer of 2009 when I lost my job, my home, my sanity and my faith in humanity.

Enough time has passed and I have a new sense of clarity having suffered a severe and life altering spinal cord injury.

I've always been crazy and suffered in extreme pain living with severe depression and trauma most of my life. Emotional pain and depression is not treated the same way as physical pain.

I developed a new found respect for physical pain. And for all the times I thought about ending my own life to escape being a burden on society and my family it was never about being selfish. I was made to believe that my work and writing are so inconsequential and disturbing that the world would be better without me as I never demanded or received a salary or residuals reflective of what I deserved or what I was paid.

I was never in it for the money. But as a government employee or contractor for non profits, I never got paid more than $10.53 per hour. And I simply lacked the means to provide for myself. The government told me I wasn't "worthy" of food or healthcare because I come from a wealthy family.

I've done amazing things with my life and I am desperate to recover the massive amount of writing that I have done over the last 25 years.

I realize it's a complex intellectual property issue however I can't afford attorney and I simply can't ask my parents to understand how much this is affected my life so I simply suffered in silence.

No one could see or understand the amount of pain I felt when I didn't have food when I didn't have gas money and I didn't have the means to provide for myself so I thought the world was better off if I remove myself from it.

This was reinforced multiple times by my own biological mother who told me that my life was not worth living and that if I committed suicide she would understand because I haven't accomplished a single thing in my entire life.

She also said that my sisters life was not worth saving so my mother who is on her fourth or fifth goal digging whore of the marriage sits here and comes over and horrible and help from the shoes and our fancy clothes I have for carrot diamond ring and she's got four of them and literally would not let me borrow $10 so that I could get food to last me through the month.

I really came to believe that the best of my work was behind me until I became paralyzed and found my voice once again. So despite not being able to hold a pen or write or type I can still speak and use voice activation software and I'm quite prolific.

I've written more than a few bucks more than a few novels but my mother has repeatedly throughout the year is coming to my home and ate it and without my knowledge and throwing away my computers my personal journals my photographs because she doesn't want any of this stuff to the public well guess what?

But having her so close by when I was show seriously L. I'm having her literally leave me on the floor while the paramedics had to come and pick me up seven times and it was my father who flew down here and make shit happen thousand miles away and all because I was too afraid to ask for help.

He didn't raise me to be somebody's wife he raised me to be an independent woman who could take care of myself much in the way of my grandmother dead and took care of her 2 Children Way back when when having being a single working mom was even worse and in the 50s and 60s that it was in the 70s or it is now.

So I told no one and when I came to the realization that there was a very good possibility that I would never be able to walk or feed myself I wipe my own ass again for the new best of my life all I could think about was how do I escape this when I can't even pull the trigger on it gone and I can't even move my hands to take my own life and I started writing about physician assisted suicide.

Now this is an uncomfortable topic and it's one that I've written policy articles about and I wrote a thesis while I was in graduate school taking a class on legal and medical ethics that was cross listed between the medical and law schools while I was doing my PhD.

I even participated in a debate on physician assisted suicide as well as affirmative action because those were my areas of interest healthcare policy and segregation.

Issues I discussed in the paper and in the debate or that it's a slippery slope because once you legalize physician assisted suicide pit that patients feel they have an obligation to lead to free their families of the caretaking burden. Search exploitation applies to children born with severe disabilities or elderly people May be forced into suicide if it becomes legal.

When my mother came to visit me three times during the five months that I was hospitalized each time she pushed me to release my records to her and give her the right to disconnect my life-support and terminate my life my own mother wanted me dead.

And to spite her I did some quick legal maneuvering put my father and his wife in charge of my health care proxy on my app and my power of attorney to remove my mother from the picture.

I can't begin to tell you how traumatizing this was to hear this at my age after I've done so much on my own mother refuses to read a single thing that I've written because she says it's too complex to understand.

Well now I'm going public I am not ashamed to admit that I've suffered severe depression and was diagnosed bipolar I have my ups and I have my downs however it is worth sticking around as long as I can still write.

I know lots of people read my writing is around the world have followed my store is my case my history and they know where to find things that have been removed from my website or have been taken down by Russian hackers are by Yahoo and what not and I'm desperate to recover the collective body of knowledge so that I can actually publish it and makes the money that I deserve.

But as usual I digress.

I suffered and live with a life altering event. I'm recovering much faster and much better than anyone expected.

If my writing is too much for you and it just drives you so much that you feel the need to send me death threats or tell me to go kill myself because the world is better off without me but guess what you don't have to read it.

But whether I post it publicly keep the files to myself this is what I do these are the thoughts that go through my mind.


So in my final act of revenge after not seeing my mother for at least seven or eight years back in 2011 when I wrote about the events below occurred, I had flown to New York to meet with the Security Experts at Apple next to Trump Tower, Tiffany and the Director of Academic Computer Security at Columbia University where I received two Masters Degrees, I called her to ask if I could pick up old photographs from my bat mitzvah at 2 bedroom $750,000 townhouse in New York.

She begged me to come inside and see her and meet her newest husband who is a total piece of shit. I wasn't there for longer than an hour before he became abusive and physically assaulted me and threatened to call the police if I didn't leave immediately.

So I spent $80 to take a cab back to my friends apartment in the city.

So for no other reason than to be a total bitch I noticed my mother's wallet and driver's license by the door.

I didn't steal any money. I don't steal. That's not my think. But I am a vengeful bitch so I took her drivers license just to inconvenience her to spend the whole day at the DMV to replace it.

I found it recently and have been dying to tell this story but there aren't many people who know me well enough to appreciate such an act of vengefulness without suspecting me of doing something more sinister with a stolen ID.

I also my father's fraternity pin from Cornell which was something that I acquired over the years.

I'm deciding who is deserving of such a special gift but I should gift it to but I may just decide to keep it for myself because I really don't have anything else from my the woman who gave birth to me except aggravation and grief.


While I was in the hospital, I came to realize just how much my family loves and cares for me despite putting up with me as a very precocious, loquacious, obnoxious child and a rebellious teenager with severe mental health issues.

My stepmother has done so much more for me in the last four months than my own mother has in the last 20 years.

I also have two empathetic, brilliant and strong brothers who I got reacquainted with and made them them account executives of my trademark, copyright and publications if I am not able to take down websites, posts or photographs in the public domain.

It's something people don't think of him often but it's actually referred to as the right to be forgotten and that means that after your death they can close, memorialize or take down your social media sites, blogs and other publications.

I did this when my father told me that he was at this point getting too old to make him there to be in the executor of my estate which is basically my life insurance pension and publications with hat which happened to be worth quite a bit of money and sell for $800 a page.

My father is getting up there in years and though I fully trust him to know is I posted something and either a manic state or a panic state or accident delay that people wish to have removed from the web such as photographs that were in the court documents that were leaked by the hackers I've been dealing with since 2010.

My father suggested I ask one of the boys to take over so that his they were younger and my foot and it was better to have someone younger than me and they're younger by about 10 and 20 years take over my account says he will die before they do and likely before me so I asked my brother when I saw him in December and he graciously agreed.

They are very busy and don't know me very well post treatment of my bipolar disorder and i'm actually on aware of just how much writing I do because they would have no reason to check.

My brother is actually a bit of a celebrity in his own right in that he is article about him needing the protests in New York City against George Bush and I've never been so proud to read how my brother got arrested and they wrote an article in slate magazine about him.

It was called a hoe let me go and I will post a link though I am having considerable difficulty since I can't use the computer and I don't have the decks Darity and movement to be as creative and precise with my publications as I previously did since I cannot feel the tips of my fingers.

Are use a computer that's so old that it doesn't even have a WebCam on it and I've got a netbook are having that book and actually have gray and none of them work and because we're going back a decade here so I've been completely mobile on your iPhone a BlackBerry since about 2008.

The last time I use Microsoft word what is in 2005 and I'm still using Microsoft office from 1995 so as brilliant as I am and expert left itas I am I prefer paper documents.

I have every academic transcript letter recommendation paper article in a hard copy since the early 90s however I can't figure out how to print a damn thing from my iPhone so I'm shit out of luck.

I was diagnosed as high functioning autism as and people with autism are supposed to be very logical and good with computers and hacking. I am not one of those people.

However, throughout my illness I found that I had a lot of writing left to do and a lot of things left to say. So I struggle with voice activation and over 109,000 photographs that I uploaded to the Internet that I've taken over the last 10 years I'm only dealing right now with one device that I've had for the last about 18 months I also have all the files and I love the photographs going back to 2008 and 2009 as soon as I am able to access those files and yes I need a hacker to help me to keep these motherfuckers out of my system and to stop deleting all of my in my writing from the Internet.

The hurricane has interfered with my federal benefits because they uploaded and accessed my tax returns and my I my personal documents and made them public so now everyone in the world has my address my photograph by drivers license and all of this was done back in 2010 and 2011 it is well documented in the news and the FBI knows damn well what is going on.

They picked on me because I became somewhat of a social media icon and they decided to make everything public and have all of anonymous and the guy if that was attacking and defending WikiLeaks and 2010 come after me I knew back in 2010 that WikiLeaks was not a valid source of information.

So my PayPal account was hacked and for those who remember PayPal 14 is a very famous case where they hacked PayPal because Pda won't die they were not donating and supporting WikiLeaks the only way that I can get paid without dealing with the bank fraud and the credit card fraud is through PayPal I simply hand not deal with it so I have not been able to collect a single penny in my residuals since 2008.

My grandmother in sis that I should not be writing anything unless I'm getting paid well I can't access the money however I feel that the writing I've done over the years and that includes in graduate school several political columns of freelance writing my masters thesis my dissertation my time in law school and PA doing a PhD is so valuable to the current state of affairs that it is at a comment upon me to make this information available to the public.

You can Peru's by writing it will be difficult to find there's a lot of people that person Atm however I am the only ELYSSA DURANT in the United States there are many others and I get about 65 notifications from identity theft organizations that people are impersonating me.

They say impersonation is the best form of flattery. Well my life has been difficult so if you want my identity and my life and all that comes with it by all means take it.

It's yours even sell it to you.

Like do you not use my name unless you intend to pay me residuals for the copyright and the trademark that I've registered in 2011.

It is a violation of federal law and is a complex form of intellectual property theft and it's covered under 18 US C interference with federal benefits so now I'm done playing with the people and it's time to get real.

So despite the fact that this contains personal and embarrassing information that people will use against me to hurt me or to talk to me or to traumatize me as I'm dealing with a serious illness I have 270,000 files that are currently uploading so keep that in mind I have every correspondence and emails since 1995 so if he fucked with me there's going to be consequences.

That's all I have to say for now enjoy the story below and the next time you go to DMV and have to spend the entire day with you and your tags renewing your license renewing your registration, tags, insurance, emissions or simply getting ID so you can vote this horrible corrupt,, complicit administration out in November, you can think of me and how or what I did to my mom to punish her for all she's put me through.

So fly baby fly!

Open the networks I don't care if it's A security risk because my network is more toxic than any Starbucks McDonald's or a public library that you could possibly go to to get infected by a virus and I have to pay by the hour despite paying $94 yesterday for a TV that I only get one channel and Internet that simply does not work so for the rest of the day I will be working on acquiring some other form of Wi-Fi so that I can lock these motherfuckers out of my life and take control back.

I don't care who reads it. I don't care what you do with the random confessions and raw brutal honesty that draws people in because at the end of the day you will find that I am and always have been a decent human being.

And Other than having my license suspended at the DMV for driving a little late there's really nothing in my past that you couldn't hold against me I've got every single tax return and pay check and documents that I filed since 1995 I said go ahead as soon as I am able to figure out how to print scan I can use my hands again I will make all of that stuff Donald Trump won't show you his taxes I'm more than happy to show you mine

I have not done anything illegal and realize exactly what's going on here I simply cannot afford a lawyer or find someone to assist me with such a complicated fraud case of intellectual property theft and fraud case.

All I did was express my informed opinion about Wikileaks and even Columbia Law, SIPA and J school blocked Wikileaks for obvious reasons.

It's also worth noting is that Trump offered a reward for anyone who is able to access Obama's transcripts from Columbia to prove that he went there. So from my case LOL you can see clearly a half those who are able to access and bypass Columbia University security furthermore Columbia Law school is in custody of the Comey Memos for the investigation against Trump so my Log salon through that they were in fact able to hack into Columbia and access my entire student records and emails and posted mine eat my login and my password inflamed text I'm at Publix website.

All I did was play by the rules and take jobs that paid $18,000-$21,000 per year rather Then the salary I deserved which should have been $85,000 starting in 1999.

I was too overwhelmed to fight back and if it can happen to a simple nobody that I Magent what the hack reschedule when the access our voter records elections and fùck up the lives of others and destroy all your professional credibility privacy and it's simply too hard for me to go up against hackers that were recruited by the NSA and FBI.

Some of you know what I'm talking about some of you think I'm just crazy out of my fucking mind but if you read the full body and the progression and all of the many plus I posted over the last few years I believe since January is over 10,000 entries that have been posted since January and there's been over 3 million visitors to my combined websites and that's quite a lot of interest in some crazy little fucking twitter penguin who lives in Palm beach and talks like a fucking stellar and a maniac but has their credentials and then Darlage and experience to back it up it just depends what kind of mood you catch me in.


That's for you grandma and that's for you my dear ex, I love you both.

Elyssa
Updated July 7, 2018




July 5, 2018

Flashbacks to the last time I lost my insurance benefits and my sanity almost a decade ago.

The state cut off my healthcare benefits because Karen claimed me as a dependent child living in NY and they based my benefits on her unreported income.

She claimed me as a dependent child and even for food stamps while she was living in a $750,000 two bedroom townhouse in New York.

When I went to file my taxes, my tax return was rejected by the IRS due to duplicate taxpayer ID. I had to file an appeal with the IRS and the State to reinstate my benefits and lost everything I owned.

The IRS eventually ruled in my favor but it took 7 months to get it straightened out. I was working for Tennessee Government and had a pension in Metro Governmentt in Nashville but it took 7 months to straighten out during which time Lauren was handling my accounts upon my request and couldn't get her shit straightened out to pay my bills on time lost EVERYTHING.

First my apartment, then my license because I was living in my car in my car until I got a new apartment for Spotty and I on August 8.

I got pulled over (for reason unknown) the cop asked me for my license, registration and proof of insurance. I had the legally required auto liability insurance but the dumb cop wouldn't accept a digital copy on my Blackberry Pearl 8120 and gave me a ticket I couldn't pay.

It was the Blackberry I bought at T-Mobile with the $100 birthday gift you got me during the Obama Campaign.

I still remember the day we celebrated at the Harvard Club in New York City when Obama won the election.

If you remember correctly, I was in New York and that ER physician asked me to marry him I was dating asked me to marry him and told me I could be his little Sarah Palin. We had spent the weekend in Oyster Bay and as much as I enjoyed the lifestyle I simply could not spend my life living in a Penthouse on 96th Street as a "wife" and give up all my passion and dreams for some rich doctor who was more interested in my looks than my brains.

He wanted to come in to the Harvard Club to ask for your "blessing" but after the Sarah Palin comment on our way Nazi into the City, I didn't know who to throw out of the car first. Him or myself.

Left my cell in his fancy Mercedes and the Maître d' brought it over to our table on a silver platter. You told me to remove the battery since we were talking smack about the election and you were well aware of the long arm of big brother able to activate cell phones as listening devices even when they are not in use.

We were celebrating the election results and had quite a few cocktails before dinner. You took photos and forced me to join Facebook if I wanted to see them.

Cambridge Analytica, Dad?


After the election, inauguration and transition team, I went back to writing exclusively paid per word or per visit to the website depending on the publication contract (syndication, etc.) ans got sidelined when I went to file my taxes and learned that I couldn't file because someone already used my Taxpayer ID on another return.

I learned that it was Karen and she refused to file an amended return.

Once the new admin was in place I was offered a postititon with fhe Executive Service to handle Complex Medicaid cases that required investigations and a written response from the Governor himself. So I wrote the letters, and he signed them to make it official.

When that tax snafu happened it held up my FBI background check for 6 months and I lost my mind, my benefits and
eventually my job.

Then shit went from bad to worse.

Couldn't afford gas or to renew my registration and insurance and got a ticket while I was parked AT the Dept of Motor Vehicles for expired tags the day Michael Jackson died and then lost my license for a non moving offense.

My car died anyway and gas was over $6 gallon in Nashville at that time and there was no food, medicine, electric or cell service during the great flood of Nashville since the Army Corp of Engineers misappropriated federal funds to the wrong zip code and I was living in my closet for a while with Spotty because of the constant tornado sirens.

Karen got mad that I didn't return her phone call to to tell me she was marrying another asshole in Vegas and disconnected my cell phone and had my car towed when she learned my address from a third party.

Stupid c*nt told me she needed my address to send me a birthday gift she got me from Hawaii.

Needless to say, there was no gift and it was especially curious that she only remembered MY birthday in March two weeks before her own.
She then had ny cell phone (my ONLY lifeline to the world as I had no TV, cable or internet and then she had my car towed from my parking spot outside my apartment and donated it to charity for $115.

She took another charitable tax deduction on MY car, registered in MY name and has it towed from right outside my apartment without even telling me. I had to run out there and get my files out of the car for that because there was really nothing I could do to change his mind once it was up on the flatbed.

It is simply beyond me how she manages to repeatedly gain access to my information and accounts despite all the boundaries I've put up and the number of times she's told me that she doesn't want anything to do with me and my "vicious attacks" but you've seen the videos and everyone knows she's psychotic, hysterical, histrionic,
narcissistic delusional gold digging ho and a menace to society and my health and well being.

I was no longer able to drive to work anymore so I couldn't renew my credentials and licensing fees.

The end.

Love,

Your 3rd favorite child. Not including the dog.

#2ndCivilWarLetteers





Elyssa D. Durant
Research & Policy Analyst
Columbia University, New York

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