Friday, March 11, 2016

A Poem for my Mother

 

 

YouTube - Avril Lavigne-nobody's Home

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can no longer protect the one who hurt me the most, and I officially declare myself as independent and free.

 

 Goodbye for now to The Powers That Beat, I am growing so tired of that nightmare where I cannot move my feet.

 

I am one today, but I am not alone; my DNA and birthright does not make me a clone.

 

Any genetic disorders, whatever they may be; will never again stand in the way for my fight to be free.

 

My bloodline alone comes right back to you, and your ridiculous denials are nothing new.

 

I must protect myself from your twisted mind, never forget, late last night, you left me behind.

 

You may think I have forgotten all your hysterical pleas, but I am legally required to remind you of these.

 

I hope you are ready for what lies ahead, because I do not think anyone else will agree this was all in my head.

 

You may dispose of my photos, writings, and more, I am sorry you do not realize you have officially now escalated funny money into a full-fledged war.

 

You declared this yourself, on March the Fourteenth, and I will expect it in writing before the next April 15th.

 

You no longer manipulate my ID or actions and blame; for I am not the one who falsely claims to be poor.

 

 You may find it a little bit harder to blame it on crazy and point the finger at me; I am posting it here for the whole to see.

 

Do not blame my siblings or my father's new wife; material wealth should mean more value than your own child's life.

I got excluded from the human genome, stop feeding me crazy, just bring it back home.

 

The suicide note I once left in your possession, should no longer be guarded as your greatest protection.

 

I defy the heritage that left me broken inside; any tears I have shed will finally subside;  I no longer will allow myself to be tried by the ridiculous facade that has given YOU a false sense of pride.

 

I am now on my own, as was always the case; it is so very sad you thought of this as a race.

 

I will honor your request to sever all ties; it is long overdue that I be free from your lies.

 

I never signed on to your game of deception, there was much more at stake than a strangers' perception.

 

So just as you once photographed my tattoo, sadly but surely, this one joke is on you.

 

I doubt you heard my very last words, but they were words of sincerity I hope that you'll review because my concern was genuine; just too familiar, we discussed nothing new.

 

I defy my heritage and reject your faith; I think I am worth more than an aborted mistake.

 

I declare my freedom and reject your "good faith" I am sorry you believe I was your biggest mistake.

 

You are so transparent it is easy to see, I hope you leave this behind the same way you left me.

 

My bloodline runs deeper than your maternal pride; I pray for your sake psychosis is real, for I see no other way your pain will ever be healed.

 

I am over and done with this stupid game, I gave you more than one warning to amend your tax claim.

 

So as I fight for my freedom, my health and my name, I hope your psychosis protects you from shame.

 

I must no longer allow trauma to guide me through life; I cannot worry about details as you become a new wife, you are correct in your assessment that you have earned all the "things" you cling to for dear life.

If there ever was a time to say, "This too shall pass...," then please go ahead and kiss my tattooed fat ass!

 

 

 

 

YouTube - Savage Garden - Crash 'n' Burn

 

 

 

 

 

It is time to start to focus on answers...

The events leading me into this circle of despair must no longer guide me through life.

 

If I am to escape the vivid memories of past,

Now, it is time to live free or die, I hope for one day that my focus can last.

 

Today I am asking for hope, "please give me one last chance to live free from fear."

                                                    

 

                                                                              

YouTube - Alanis Morissette - You owe me nothing in return

 

 

Thank you,  

 

E


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