Thursday, August 25, 2022

July 1, 2022

July 1, 2022
12:32pm
I lit a scented candle and took the Ativan Pottash prescribed. 
Very dehydrated I think. Got some Gatorade and I'm watching the News and following Twitter. 
I'm sorry if I upset you. I don't want you to worry. The ENT passed me off to the head and neck oncologist at Miami Sylvester Cancer Center (I'll be there on Wednesday because that's where Dr. Cohen is doing my test procedure of a medial branch nerve block) 
But I told the nurse who called last night that the ENT made a referral to a specific doctor at Sylvester and Florez won't approve it so I'm going down there on the 14th to read them the riot act. 
The ENT said even if the biopsy comes back NOT cancer he wants me to see a cancer specialist because it won't heal with the magic Mouthwash (dexamethosone, corticosteroids and lanocaine) 
The steroids they gave me a t the hospital did help but I don't have any more left. Also, they gave me the steroids for my spine to reduce inflammation. They didn't know about my mouth but the ENT ordered me to go directly to the Emergency Room when he last saw me because my mouth was so bad I couldn't eat or drink fluids. 
Then Dr. Cohen (pain management ~ anesthesiologist) ordered me DIRECTLY to the Emergency Room from his office and wanted to call an ambulance.
I said no and they made me sign papers that I was leaving AMA. When Dr. Cohen sees me he admits me to the hospital for a few hours to do procedures eg steroid injections and then discharges me. Last time he made me sign AMA because he thinks I have additional spinal cord damage. 
You know how I feel about the Emergency Room and I had no idea they were going to admit me. 
They admitted me to neurosurgery and the surgeon came to my bedside to talk to me. 
REMEMBER GOOD SAM said for five months they didn't have a neurosurgeon?? Why couldn't they have done that in 2018??? They just left me in a bed, didn't change my clothes or panties once, didn't shower me or clean my body and I couldn't do it because my hands didn't work at all. 
No one cleaned / bathed me at all until you sent Elaine to me and she got a healthcare aide to go to Good Sam and she gave me a shower and washed my hair and got the knots out. 
Steve and Elaine didn't even recognize me when they came back to see me a few days later
When I was at Good Sam last month while you were in Vienna, they wouldn't let me shower or bring me washcloths to or cleanser. They didn't clean / bathe me and they cut off ALL Endocrinology (thyroid meds- dx para hyper thyroidism or hyper parathyroidism ?? epilepsy meds & Pottash's meds and didn't give me an iron, magnesium or potassium infusion which is what is generally given for dehydration rhabdomyolisis and given the acute state of my anemia that setting off alarms for Rheumatology and finally my PCP noticed. However they all wanna send me to a hematology oncologist. Good Sam picked up nothing. 
It was terribly traumatic and when I complained to the nurse that I had allergic reaction (my eyes swelled shut) and I had an allergy band on and he tried to give me the same medication FiVE TIMES!! 
They also kept giving me morphine which I did not want. They injected it and hurt terribly and burned going in because they did it too fast and didn't care when I said it hurt. 
They just didn't care. It was TERRIFYING because they kept lying to me and when I questioned and started taking photographs of the meds, nurse Chris Jovenes alibi or witness I'm not really sure which one; said to me "you can take as many photos as you want. I keep a lawyer on standby."
WHAT KIND OF A NURSE KEEPS A LAWYER ON STANDBY? 
And what in the world would prompt him to say that to a patient in his care?? 
Joevine said (with Chris in the room) "I do not consent to any photographs or notes of any kind, you may not use your phone and she took it out of my hands and that go over well. 
I had another one in my purse. 
HORRIFYING. I asked for an Ativan at 7:30 pm and the totally incompetent horrible Nurse named Joevine didn't bring it to me until 5:30am. 
The next day I had a seizure and they couldn't give me Ativan because Joevine fucked up the schedule. 
I didn't complain at first but they kept giving me the wrong meds even though I updated with a nurse at 1pm on Monday when I was admitted. They tried giving me high dose Of gabapentn, adddfall, Minipress , and no Effexor, Lyrica, Vyvanse or and gave me ?? mg of Cymbalta and then gave me 4 tablets on Tuesday NIGHT And told me it was Effexor. 
It's possible that it was 475 mg affects or however it was not extended released and I could tell because it wasn't a capsule. 
now they refuse to allow me to examine the medication before I took it. And when I ask specific questions about the medication that they were giving me since the works played a few I should not have been given they told they took them away and OK then you can't have any. 
So it was all or none. Now this is consistently a problem at good Sam and I think you've known this good Sam tried to give me Librium once I asked them what it what are you gonna be Librium for I don't bounce equilibrium I thought maybe they thought it was lithium as someone put that on my truck but no it was Librium which is for alcoholics. I told the nurse I was not an alcoholic, and there was a physical therapist in the room with me when I doth protest too much. 
I got up and looked at the chart and it was some patient down the hall. 
As these kinds of mistakes you may say or a minor however they add up overtime and they create extreme distress and caused a break in my treatment & recovery .
The entire time I was at good Sam I saw I don't know physical therapist, podiatrist for my feet or an oral surgeon for my mouth. 
they claim they do not have a record of my primary care provider which is marked clearly on my insurance card. 
They gave me absolutely no discharge instructions. 
which is my most important medication. Withdrawal form Effexor is very serious and Dr. Pottash knows that if you stop taking Ativan suddenly it can cause seizures. 
They we fed reckless and horrible. When I told the night nurse Chris (Joevines partner in crude ~ they came in together to bully me and STILL gave me the wrong meds. I wrote dow n like I always do so I can report o Dr. Pottash and neurology because they like me and appreciate my diligence. 
They kept me hooked to an IV that they turned off but the tubes kept me chained to the so I couldn't go to the bathroom. 
They did not answer calls for bathroom up to an hour and did not putt pads on my bed for accidents. 
IMPORTANT!! This is why I went to the ER. I wet my bed a few times and then I couldn't take fluids and I couldn't pee. These are all serious symptoms for neurology so they sent me to ER. 
The ER was fine and I zoomed with Dr. Pottash and my neurologist Dr. Arizala-Martinez. 
They made me so sick and I was only there a few days. And completely triggered my PTSD all over again. 
Trying to work through it but I don't have EMDR therapist anymore. 
*unfuniished medical document contemporaneous notes & hospital records to be added. 
PS Humana denied all patient for Good Sam. 
Fun. Good time. 
/ed
On Jul 2, 2022, at 9:57 AM, Marc Durant wrote:
Listen to some music and relax. Whatever will be, will be. If you have no control over it, there's no point in worrying about that. You still don't even have the biopsy results.
-----Original Message-----
From: Elyssa Durant
Sent: Saturday, July 2, 2022 9:21 AM
To: Marc Durant
Subject: Biopsy Referrals 
Thus is a fascinating time to be alive but I don't know how much more I can take
I assume the head and neck oncologist will tell me how long I have. Or the hematology oncologist. No one is telling me how long I have. And I'm so tired going from this doctor to that doctor.
I'm ready to let go and say my goodbyes. I just don't know how much time I have left to do do that. 
I can't handle fighting for treatment. Florez called me at 7 pm last night to see if I went to the hematology oncologist. 
Um, no. I can't schedule an appointment because you dkdnt send my medical records. 
I asked them AGAIN for a foot surgeon and a dermatologist to do a biopsy on my foot. 
The complete idiot said I can't handle it. 
It's too much for me. 
/ed
/ed

Saturday, July 2, 2022

Fwd: [DailyDDoSe] Patient Journal πŸ““ July 1, 2022 πŸ“† Draft



Too traumatic to finish right now.  I'm sure you understand. 

July 1, 2022

12:32pm

I lit a scented candle and took the Ativan Pottash prescribed. 

Very dehydrated I think. Got some Gatorade and I'm watching the News and following Twitter. 

I'm sorry if I upset you. I don't want you to worry. The ENT passed me off to the head and neck oncologist at Miami Sylvester Cancer Center (I'll be there on Wednesday because that's where Dr. Cohen is doing my test procedure of a medial branch nerve block) 

But I told the nurse who called last night that the ENT made a referral to a specific doctor at Sylvester and Florez won't approve it so I'm going down there on  the 14th to read them the riot act. 

The ENT said even if the biopsy comes back NOT cancer he wants me to see a cancer specialist because it won't heal with the magic Mouthwash (dexamethosone, corticosteroids and lanocaine) 

The steroids they gave me a t the hospital did help but I don't have any more left. Also, they gave me the steroids for my spine to reduce inflammation. They didn't know about my mouth but the ENT ordered me to go directly to the Emergency Room when he last saw me because my mouth was so bad I couldn't eat or drink  fluids. 

Then Dr.  Cohen (pain management ~ anesthesiologist) ordered me DIRECTLY to the Emergency Room from his office and wanted to call an ambulance.

I said no and they made me sign papers that I was leaving AMA. When Dr. Cohen sees me he admits me to the hospital for a few hours to do procedures eg steroid injections and then discharges me. Last time he made me sign AMA because he thinks I have additional spinal cord damage. 

You know how I feel about the Emergency Room and I had no idea they were going to admit me. 

They admitted me to neurosurgery and the surgeon came to my bedside to talk to me. 

REMEMBER GOOD SAM said for five months they didn't have a neurosurgeon??  Why couldn't they have done that in 2018??? They just left me in a bed, didn't change my clothes or panties once, didn't shower me or clean my body and  I couldn't do it because my hands didn't work at all. 

No one cleaned / bathed me at all until you sent Elaine to me and she got a healthcare aide to go to Good Sam and she gave me a shower and washed my hair and got the knots out. 

Steve and Elaine didn't even  recognize me when they came back to see me a few days later

When I was at Good Sam  last month while you were in Vienna, they wouldn't let me shower or bring me washcloths to or cleanser. They didn't clean / bathe me and they cut off ALL Endocrinology (thyroid meds- dx para hyper thyroidism  or hyper parathyroidism ?? epilepsy  meds &  Pottash's meds and didn't give me an iron, magnesium or potassium infusion  which is what is generally given for dehydration rhabdomyolisis and given the acute state of my anemia  that setting off alarms for Rheumatology and finally my PCP noticed. However they all wanna send me to a hematology oncologist. Good Sam picked up nothing. 

 

It was terribly traumatic and when I complained to the nurse that I had allergic reaction (my eyes swelled shut) and I had an allergy band on and he tried to give me the same medication FiVE TIMES!! 

They also kept giving me morphine which I did not want. They injected it and hurt terribly and burned going in because they did it too fast and didn't care when I said it hurt. 

They just didn't care. It was TERRIFYING because they kept lying to me and when I questioned and started taking photographs of the meds, nurse Chris Jovenes alibi or witness I'm not really sure which one; said to me "you can take as many photos as you want. I keep a lawyer on standby."

WHAT KIND OF A NURSE KEEPS A LAWYER ON STANDBY? 

And what in the world would prompt him to say that to a patient in his care?? 

Joevine said (with Chris in the room) "I do not consent to any photographs or notes of any kind, you may not use your phone and she took it out of my hands  and that go over well. 

I had another one in my purse. 

HORRIFYING. I asked for an Ativan at 7:30 pm and the totally incompetent horrible Nurse named Joevine didn't bring it to me until 5:30am. 

The next day I had a seizure and they couldn't give me Ativan because Joevine fucked up the schedule. 

I didn't complain at first but they kept giving me the wrong meds even though I updated with a nurse at 1pm on Monday when I was admitted. They tried giving me high dose Of gabapentn, adddfall, Minipress ,  and no Effexor, Lyrica, Vyvanse or and gave me ?? mg  of Cymbalta and then gave me 4  tablets  on Tuesday NIGHT And told me it was Effexor. 

It's possible that it was 475 mg affects or however it was not extended released and I could tell because it wasn't a capsule. 

now they refuse to allow me to examine the medication before I took it. And when I ask specific questions about the medication that they were giving me since the works played a few I should not have been given they told they took them away and OK then you can't have any. 

So it was all or none. Now this is consistently a problem at good Sam and I think you've known this good Sam tried to give me Librium once I asked them what it what are you gonna be Librium for I don't bounce equilibrium I thought maybe they thought it was lithium as someone put that on my truck but no it was Librium which is for alcoholics. I told the nurse I was not an alcoholic,  and there was a physical therapist in the room with me when I doth protest too much. 

 I got up and looked at the chart and it was some patient down the hall. 

As these kinds of mistakes you may say or a minor however they add up overtime and they create extreme distress and caused a break in my treatment  & recovery .

The entire time I was at good Sam I saw I don't know physical therapist, podiatrist for my feet or an oral surgeon for my mouth. 

they claim they do not have a record of my primary care provider which is marked clearly on my insurance card. 

They gave me absolutely no discharge instructions. 


which is my most important medication. Withdrawal form Effexor is very serious and Dr. Pottash knows that if you stop taking Ativan suddenly it can cause seizures. 

They we fed reckless and horrible. When I told the night nurse Chris (Joevines  partner in crude ~ they came  in together to bully me and STILL gave me the wrong meds.  I  wrote dow n like I always do so I can report o Dr. Pottash and neurology because they like me and appreciate my diligence. 

They kept me hooked to an IV that they turned off but the  tubes kept me chained to the so I couldn't go to the bathroom. 

They did not answer calls for bathroom up to an hour and did not putt pads on my bed for accidents. 

IMPORTANT!!  This is why I  went to the ER. I wet my bed a few times and then I couldn't take fluids and I couldn't pee. These are all serious symptoms for neurology so they sent me to ER. 

The ER was fine and I zoomed with Dr. Pottash and my neurologist Dr. Arizala-Martinez. 

They made me so sick and I was only there a few days. And completely triggered my PTSD all over again. 

Trying to work through it but I don't have EMDR therapist anymore. 

*unfuniished medical document contemporaneous notes & hospital records to be added. 

PS Humana denied all patient for Good Sam. 

Fun. Good time. 

/ed

On Jul 2, 2022, at 9:57 AM, Marc wrote:

Listen to some music and relax. Whatever will be, will be. If you have no control over it, there's no point in worrying about  things you can't control. 

-----Original Message-----
From:  e 
Sent: Saturday, July 2, 2022 9:21 AM
To: Marc 
Subject: Biopsy Referrals 

Thus is a fascinating time to be alive but I don't know how much more I can take

I assume the head and neck oncologist will tell me how long I have. Or the hematology oncologist.  No one is telling me how long I have. And I'm so tired going from this doctor to that doctor.

I'm ready to let go and say my goodbyes. I just don't know how much time I  have left to do do that. 

I can't handle fighting for treatment. Florez called me at 7 pm last night  to see if I went to the hematology oncologist. 

Um,  no. I can't schedule an appointment because you dkdnt send my medical records. 

I asked them AGAIN  for a foot surgeon and  a  dermatologist to do a biopsy on my foot. 

The complete idiot said I can't handle it. 

It's too much for me. 


/ed

/ed
--
Elyssa Durant Research and Policy Analyst


--
Posted By Elyssa D'Educrat to DailyDDoSe at Jul 2, 2022, 
--
Elyssa Durant Research and Policy Analyst

Patient Journal πŸ““ July 1, 2022 πŸ“† Draft

Too traumatic to finish right now.  I'm sure you understand. 

July 1, 2022

12:32pm

I lit a scented candle and took the Ativan Pottash prescribed. 

Very dehydrated I think. Got some Gatorade and I'm watching the News and following Twitter. 

I'm sorry if I upset you. I don't want you to worry. The ENT passed me off to the head and neck oncologist at Miami Sylvester Cancer Center (I'll be there on Wednesday because that's where Dr. Cohen is doing my test procedure of a medial branch nerve block) 

But I told the nurse who called last night that the ENT made a referral to a specific doctor at Sylvester and Florez won't approve it so I'm going down there on  the 14th to read them the riot act. 

The ENT said even if the biopsy comes back NOT cancer he wants me to see a cancer specialist because it won't heal with the magic Mouthwash (dexamethosone, corticosteroids and lanocaine) 

The steroids they gave me a t the hospital did help but I don't have any more left. Also, they gave me the steroids for my spine to reduce inflammation. They didn't know about my mouth but the ENT ordered me to go directly to the Emergency Room when he last saw me because my mouth was so bad I couldn't eat or drink  fluids. 

Then Dr.  Cohen (pain management ~ anesthesiologist) ordered me DIRECTLY to the Emergency Room from his office and wanted to call an ambulance.

I said no and they made me sign papers that I was leaving AMA. When Dr. Cohen sees me he admits me to the hospital for a few hours to do procedures eg steroid injections and then discharges me. Last time he made me sign AMA because he thinks I have additional spinal cord damage. 

You know how I feel about the Emergency Room and I had no idea they were going to admit me. 

They admitted me to neurosurgery and the surgeon came to my bedside to talk to me. 

REMEMBER GOOD SAM said for five months they didn't have a neurosurgeon??  Why couldn't they have done that in 2018??? They just left me in a bed, didn't change my clothes or panties once, didn't shower me or clean my body and  I couldn't do it because my hands didn't work at all. 

No one cleaned / bathed me at all until you sent Elaine to me and she got a healthcare aide to go to Good Sam and she gave me a shower and washed my hair and got the knots out. 

Steve and Elaine didn't even  recognize me when they came back to see me a few days later

When I was at Good Sam  last month while you were in Vienna, they wouldn't let me shower or bring me washcloths to or cleanser. They didn't clean / bathe me and they cut off ALL Endocrinology (thyroid meds- dx para hyper thyroidism  or hyper parathyroidism ?? epilepsy  meds &  Pottash's meds and didn't give me an iron, magnesium or potassium infusion  which is what is generally given for dehydration rhabdomyolisis and given the acute state of my anemia  that setting off alarms for Rheumatology and finally my PCP noticed. However they all wanna send me to a hematology oncologist. Good Sam picked up nothing. 

 

It was terribly traumatic and when I complained to the nurse that I had allergic reaction (my eyes swelled shut) and I had an allergy band on and he tried to give me the same medication FiVE TIMES!! 

They also kept giving me morphine which I did not want. They injected it and hurt terribly and burned going in because they did it too fast and didn't care when I said it hurt. 

They just didn't care. It was TERRIFYING because they kept lying to me and when I questioned and started taking photographs of the meds, nurse Chris Jovenes alibi or witness I'm not really sure which one; said to me "you can take as many photos as you want. I keep a lawyer on standby."

WHAT KIND OF A NURSE KEEPS A LAWYER ON STANDBY? 

And what in the world would prompt him to say that to a patient in his care?? 

Joevine said (with Chris in the room) "I do not consent to any photographs or notes of any kind, you may not use your phone and she took it out of my hands  and that go over well. 

I had another one in my purse. 

HORRIFYING. I asked for an Ativan at 7:30 pm and the totally incompetent horrible Nurse named Joevine didn't bring it to me until 5:30am. 

The next day I had a seizure and they couldn't give me Ativan because Joevine fucked up the schedule. 

I didn't complain at first but they kept giving me the wrong meds even though I updated with a nurse at 1pm on Monday when I was admitted. They tried giving me high dose Of gabapentn, adddfall, Minipress ,  and no Effexor, Lyrica, Vyvanse or and gave me ?? mg  of Cymbalta and then gave me 4  tablets  on Tuesday NIGHT And told me it was Effexor. 

It's possible that it was 475 mg affects or however it was not extended released and I could tell because it wasn't a capsule. 

now they refuse to allow me to examine the medication before I took it. And when I ask specific questions about the medication that they were giving me since the works played a few I should not have been given they told they took them away and OK then you can't have any. 

So it was all or none. Now this is consistently a problem at good Sam and I think you've known this good Sam tried to give me Librium once I asked them what it what are you gonna be Librium for I don't bounce equilibrium I thought maybe they thought it was lithium as someone put that on my truck but no it was Librium which is for alcoholics. I told the nurse I was not an alcoholic,  and there was a physical therapist in the room with me when I doth protest too much. 

 I got up and looked at the chart and it was some patient down the hall. 

As these kinds of mistakes you may say or a minor however they add up overtime and they create extreme distress and caused a break in my treatment  & recovery .

The entire time I was at good Sam I saw I don't know physical therapist, podiatrist for my feet or an oral surgeon for my mouth. 

they claim they do not have a record of my primary care provider which is marked clearly on my insurance card. 

They gave me absolutely no discharge instructions. 


which is my most important medication. Withdrawal form Effexor is very serious and Dr. Pottash knows that if you stop taking Ativan suddenly it can cause seizures. 

They we fed reckless and horrible. When I told the night nurse Chris (Joevines  partner in crude ~ they came  in together to bully me and STILL gave me the wrong meds.  I  wrote dow n like I always do so I can report o Dr. Pottash and neurology because they like me and appreciate my diligence. 

They kept me hooked to an IV that they turned off but the  tubes kept me chained to the so I couldn't go to the bathroom. 

They did not answer calls for bathroom up to an hour and did not putt pads on my bed for accidents. 

IMPORTANT!!  This is why I  went to the ER. I wet my bed a few times and then I couldn't take fluids and I couldn't pee. These are all serious symptoms for neurology so they sent me to ER. 

The ER was fine and I zoomed with Dr. Pottash and my neurologist Dr. Arizala-Martinez. 

They made me so sick and I was only there a few days. And completely triggered my PTSD all over again. 

Trying to work through it but I don't have EMDR therapist anymore. 

*unfuniished medical document contemporaneous notes & hospital records to be added. 

PS Humana denied all patient for Good Sam. 

Fun. Good time. 

/ed

On Jul 2, 2022, at 9:57 AM, Marc Durant <MDurant@durantlaw.com> wrote:

Listen to some music and relax. Whatever will be, will be. If you have no control over it, there's no point in worrying about  things you can't control. 

-----Original Message-----
From:  e 
Sent: Saturday, July 2, 2022 9:21 AM
To: Marc 
Subject: Biopsy Referrals 

Thus is a fascinating time to be alive but I don't know how much more I can take

I assume the head and neck oncologist will tell me how long I have. Or the hematology oncologist.  No one is telling me how long I have. And I'm so tired going from this doctor to that doctor.

I'm ready to let go and say my goodbyes. I just don't know how much time I  have left to do do that. 

I can't handle fighting for treatment. Florez called me at 7 pm last night  to see if I went to the hematology oncologist. 

Um,  no. I can't schedule an appointment because you dkdnt send my medical records. 

I asked them AGAIN  for a foot surgeon and  a  dermatologist to do a biopsy on my foot. 

The complete idiot said I can't handle it. 

It's too much for me. 


/ed

/ed
--
Elyssa Durant Research and Policy Analyst

Saturday, April 23, 2022

DEADLY SIDE EFFECTS

Patient Journal πŸ“” 

April 23, 2022

Pain 6/10
Mood 6/10



The sore throat, vomiting, coughing, shortness of breath and hoarseness were all "DEADLY WARNING SIGNS" from the lidocaine medicine they gave me at the urgent care clinic. 

I guess if you had taken me to either of my appointments in Miami for the lumbar facet injections or to the ENT on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday they would have told you that since I found the information on a handout for "caregivers" since I was not supposed to be left unattended after the procedures. 

You had commented that my blood pressure was really low but it was not recorded at the urgent care clinic. 

You told me what it was, but I forgot what it was. 

There is absolutely no information on the bill they gave me regarding diagnosis or vital signs. 

They do not have a telephone number to the individual clinics and I called FIVE of them yesterday trying to locate "Francesco"

I asked how you found that place, if you called and checked that place out before we left. 

You told me that you were on another site (you were searching for a restaurant that had British Fish and Chips for dinner) and that was the last I heard from you until you came to my apartment and said you needed to pee at 12:15 just after my EMDR appointment. 

I also got the bill from AT&T after you went in there with me to change the plan to something more affordable. 

My phone was cut off the day after you left and the password was changed. 

For future reference, it is EXTREMELY inappropriate for you to tell sales people that I am autistic when I am trying to conduct official business. 

It cost me $120 to get the phone reactivated and will cost another $50 if I switch to a more affordable company but I'm glad you had a good time at the beach, the hotel and the fancy restaurants. 

I'm sorry you didn't find my apartment comfortable enough for your taste and had you asked I would have told you about the Free Trolley to the beach, outlets and museums. 

I'm not sure why you spent $100 on the beach pass since you had a handicap pass and it's all public parking but it's your money and I can't tell you how to spend it. 

You should try to get your money back from the rental car company since they made you wait 6 hours to find your reservation at the airport. 

I've never heard of $500 for a rental car unless it was a fancy upgrade like the fancy convertible I rented after graduation from Columbia back in 2002. 

It only costs $7 or so to take an Uber to the beach and it's less than 1 mile from my house. 

We use that as our meeting place for protests to Mar-a-Lago because it's very accessible to the public. 

Loved the photos you sent me from the beach and the restaurant. Too bad you couldn't sit outside because the Ivy and mosaic tables in the courtyard are much more iconic then the tired peach roses they put on the tables inside. 

It's great that you enjoyed the food, because I found it to be very overpriced and the lobster risotto was just ordinary. 

I'm surprised they didn't have a special Easter menu like most restaurants have on the holidays but if you liked it; great. 

Can't imagine it was better than the Lobster 🦞 you had at Bradley's before your flight home; but I guess that's the difference between being a local and being a tourist. 

Here's a video I made years ago with photographs  of all the hidden gardens on Worth Avenue that you probably missed. 

Enjoy.


--
DailyDDose

Thursday, February 3, 2022

DailyDDose πŸ““ Kidney Cancer & Suicide

Back Story.

Absolutely devastating. He got kidney cancer and needed a kidney donor desperately. I was a match and my hematologist gave me the green light and I went through the interview process at Mt. Sinai in New York and then they stopped all transplant  surgeries due to COVID. 

My dad had kidney cancer and he knew of my intensions and was supportive. 

We just couldn't make it happen. Just couldn't make it happen.

The most tragic, devastating loss in my entire life. 

I never knew love like that before and there were many times I thought I didn't want to go on without him. 

I called the suicide prevention hotline and told them, all my friends and heroes are dead or dying and I just don't want to be hear without them. 

I was ready to take that leap. Stated searching online for drugs that would cause my heart to stop beating and since my psychiatric care had been so horrific, and I was unable to get  therapy and services I needed… I made some calls and tried to get my hands on some Fentanyl even though I've never used it and don't get the whole painkiller appeal. 

Just figured it would go down as another "suspicious death" intentional or otherwise. 

It just didn't matter anymore. I was done. 
--
Elyssa Durant Research and Policy Analyst

DailyDDose πŸ““ February 3, 2022: Is this love?

DailyDDose πŸ““ February 3, 2022

Is this love? 


Spent my whole session talking about you in therapy today. 

I'm in therapy 3x week and now I'm starting EMDR. 

I finally reached a place where I can talk to you without crying and I told her how you helped me get through the first surgery but how you had completely ghosted on me after your cancer diagnosis and before I could donate a kidney (my hematologist gave me the go ahead and then Mt. Sinai said you were no longer a candidate) 

But then I saw Jessica repost that you need a miracle (kidney donor) and I addressed her directly and told her I was a match. 

You must be on dialysis now I guess. 

I was told you only had a year or two to live so I'm very confused as to what's going on but as my therapist told me, you clearly don't want me to know otherwise you wouldn't make me worry like that. 

She said that obviously I knew the "relationship" could only go so far and of course I did, but I was so happy, so very happy just to get your texts and hear your voice every day. 

I miss the way you made me laugh.  I miss sharing our mutual stories and wonder how you made it through the pandemic. 

I don't think I'm in love with you any more… but now that I have some distance I can unequivocally say that I've NEVER loved anyone so deeply or profoundly in all my life. 

I'm cool headed about things now and even if it takes you 10 years to call me, I hope at some point in the future you can spend $20 on a burner phone and call me so we can laugh again and get some closure.

Before we were lovers, we were friends. And I miss my best friend. 

I saw the pic of you out with Freitas,  Brian Deutsh, and a few others. 

You are wearing your glasses and your hair is growing long. You've never looked more beautiful to me but there is a sadness in your eyes. 

And your beard looks amazing. Grey looks good on you. I wish I could see more pics but you don't post Jack shit and I had to hunt down those photographs. 

I just miss your laugh. I miss the way you make me laugh and the way you could always read my mind. 

I won't start texting and calling every day again, but I hope you'll hold on to my number and one day, find the courage to use it.

/ed
--
Elyssa Durant Research and Policy Analyst

Monday, January 31, 2022

DailyDDose (c) January 31, 2023

DailyDDose © January 31, 2022

Wishing you a Happy and Healthy New Year  

Begin forwarded message:

From: Elyssa Durant <elyssad@icloud.com>
Date: January 31, 2022 at 3:27:12 PM EST
To: Marc Durant <MDurant@durantlaw.com>
Subject: Re: Severe nationwide shortage of home health care workers.

Interesting article. It definitely is a shit job… showering and cleaning up after disabled adults ~ navy of whom have dementia and may be combative?? 

Horrible. They only make $11 per hour so it's no wonder it's hard to find trustworthy, reliable workers. 

You have no idea how vulnerable it makes me feel to have a stranger in my home shower and dress me?? 

It is a brutally humbling experience. 

I was in the hospital for almost FIVE months January 2018. They didn't shower me a SINGLE time. No one changed my hospital gown, brushed or wasted my hair or my body until you brought in Steve & Elaine to stay with me in the hospital. 

You really don't recover from that kind of psychological injury. 

Even when I asked Karen to help me, she refused. My peg mother refused to touch me and help me brush ny hair or clean my body. 

That's why it meant so very much to me when Rita took ny hand and helped me walk last week during your visit. 

I know it may sound minor to you and others when I constantly relive the emotional trauma that led to my severe PTSD but try to imagine yourself completely helpless and alone for MONTHS (actually years) with no human  interaction or contact for the NINE YEARS I've been living here in Florida in complete isolation. 

It's no exaggeration and I feel terribly alone and scared of the perpetual physical and emotional abuse I've suffered by Karen, her miserable, violent rabid new husband, Paul and Darryll. 

I'm so far from okay, I don't think I'll ever recover.  To say I've regressed into a scared little child is a monumental understatement. I am permanently scarred and altered for life. 

January 31, 2022
3:25pm

e

Wishing you a Happy and Healthy New Year 🍾  2022
--
Elyssa Durant Research and Policy Analyst

Saturday, January 29, 2022

DailyDDose January 29, 2022 ❄️⛄️

Memory Bank: January 29, 2022

My family and friends are sending me photos of the snow ❄️ from the NorEaster that is leaving a blanket of snow in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. 

And of course, I am thinking of *Him*


I wish you could send me a photo of the snow ❄️ 

Remember that time we got snowed in without electricity my first year at Columbia? 

We had no power for days. We only had the light from my little AST laptop computer πŸ’» 

It was my very first compute and you taught me how to use the 14.4 PCMCIA modem to get online!!? 

YOU HAVE MAIL 

We had the light of the laptop πŸ’» and walked in the morning to get bagels πŸ₯― 

Come sundown, we walked to Sweet to get Chinese Food 🍲 

Do you remember that apartment? 

33 Central Drive
Port Washington, NY 11050

And when I moved into the city, you showed up at my place all bundled up and covered in snow. I don't know how you found me but you did. 

We hadn't spoken in a while, and no words were necessary. 

You looked so sad and pathetic covered in snow ⛄️ 

You looked up at me with those big brown eyes and I knew exactly what you wanted to say. 

I let you in and we made love and just like that ~ we we're back together again. 

If only for a night~ or for all eternity. 

We had a bond that couldn't be broken.

When you look out that window and see all of that snow, try and remember all of the times we had together, staying warm and snuggly inside with the beautiful white pure driven snow ❄️ pilling up outside our window. 

Wishing you a Happy and Healthy New Year  πŸΎ
--
Elyssa Durant Research and Policy Analyst