Back Story.
Absolutely devastating. He got kidney cancer and needed a kidney donor desperately. I was a match and my hematologist gave me the green light and I went through the interview process at Mt. Sinai in New York and then they stopped all transplant surgeries due to COVID.
My dad had kidney cancer and he knew of my intensions and was supportive.
We just couldn't make it happen. Just couldn't make it happen.
The most tragic, devastating loss in my entire life.
I never knew love like that before and there were many times I thought I didn't want to go on without him.
I called the suicide prevention hotline and told them, all my friends and heroes are dead or dying and I just don't want to be hear without them.
I was ready to take that leap. Stated searching online for drugs that would cause my heart to stop beating and since my psychiatric care had been so horrific, and I was unable to get therapy and services I needed… I made some calls and tried to get my hands on some Fentanyl even though I've never used it and don't get the whole painkiller appeal.
Just figured it would go down as another "suspicious death" intentional or otherwise.
It just didn't matter anymore. I was done.
-- Elyssa Durant Research and Policy Analyst
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