I still can't fucking sleep. I'm having myoclonic seizures every few minutes and it's so damn uncomfortable. I'm trying really hard not to go to the emergency room.
This country is so fucked.
I'm still thinking about leaving while I still have a chance. I'm pretty sure the wall is meant to keep people from leaving.
I have a friend in Canada who can't gain entry to the US and we joke about getting married so I can just cross the border. We were going to escape to the Bahamas, hide out and go snorkeling but now the Bahamas are gone and somehow climate change became a reality.
I have a few hundred bucks and a passport. Ijustt want to escape.
You don't know the whole story but this has become my theme song.
htt Qs:/f.youtu.b_g/l RtvqLwMeY
"Are you up in the middle of the night? Like a fire fly drawn to the light. You were there like a blow torch burning.
So tired I couldn't even sleep. Promised myself I wouldn't weep. Only so many secrets I can keep.
It seems no one can help me now, I'm in too deep there's no way out. This time I have really lead myself astray.
Can you help me remember how to smile? Make it somehow all seem worthwhile?
How on earth did I get so jaded? Seems life mystery has faded.
I can go where no one else can go. I know what no one else knows!! Here I am just drowning in the pain with a ticket for a runaway train!! Everything seems cut and dry. Day and night, Earth and sky.
Somehow I just don't believe it.
Runaway train never going back. Run away on a one way track. It seems I should be getting somewhere. Somehow I'm neither here nor there.
I bought a ticket on a runaway train. Like a madman laughing in the rain. Run away cuz it always seems the same."
Who do I talk to now that you're gone??
And here come the tears. My god this is painful. And some times I feel like I'm just holding on by a thread. And my friend would say, "as long as you're still holding on."
He's gone too. My god this hurts. I can't have my body fail at the same time as my mind.
Time to dry my tears, pick myself up. Brush off a little dust and put my game face on.
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